Looking for Peace.....but not in this salvation.

What is salvation?  Many offer Jesus the Christ as a solution but that becomes a problem when the person they are trying to “save” doesn’t believe in Jesus or has been burned by Christians that twisted the salvation part to their benefit.  So when we see all the violence in our society we immediately talk about “saving” our youth/children or “saving” our community but I often wonder, save it from what or whom?

There’s a popular Bishop that often talks about this topic and he says “are we being saved from a mean and hateful god? Or are we saving ourselves from ourselves?”  It’s a great question; if we are saving our youth are we saving them from us the adults?  I believe so and add to it our horrible need to continue out dated and plain stupid ideologies that didn’t work in the past and don’t work now.

To “save” our youth from the violence that plagues our communities would mean that the adults would have to shake off any egos they have and allow open and honest conversations about what is wrong and how adults have orchestrated this behavior of violence, get mine, and fuck’em to get “ahead” in life. 

Back to being a savior because that’s what some people are trying to do…how do you become a savior if what comes out of your mouth is filled with biased opinions, hateful language, and plain stupidity when it comes to knowing what is really going on?  Many people that are clergy have the same issue as some of the powerful leaders I’ve met in my life.  Many gang leaders are powerful people due to their gripping control on, at times, thousands of people and to see them being dismissed by someone else a bit more powerful is an interesting event.  What shocked me at some point in my life was to see the very same reaction from clergy at conferences and gatherings.  Now, don’t take this as a sign that organized religion or any religion is bad because of this comment what I am doing is pointing out egos that we all have.

College students at every level have the same issues and sometimes even worse when they find out that the person next to them is smarter than them and doesn’t have one college credit to their name.  So what usually happens here is that the student then claims to have the answer to every issue regardless of their limited knowledge.  Then to add insult to stupid they challenge the person with no college background, mind you that this person may be well versed on the issue the student is challenging, by claiming that they (non-college student) is wrong and that they (the student) is right.  That is the very same ego issue that gang leaders and clergy have so then that makes it an “us” problem as adults rather than a “gang” leader or clergy problem.

It is healthy to have discussions but there are something’s that are just fact and just because you are unaware of the fact doesn’t make it less of a fact, follow me?  I am not Gay or Transgender but I don’t stand back and do research for a week and battle it out with someone who is Gay or Transgender and basically tell them “sorry but I really don’t think you know what you’re talking about!”  I accept what they tell me about themselves as fact because it is coming from them and their experience.

OK, so I hope you understood that and if you didn’t here’s the short version, learn to be humble.

 Still a bit confused?  OK how about a shorter version, shut your mouth and listen!

I hate to be so blunt but it has to be said because it is imperative for YOU to realize that someone’s LIFE is at stake if you don’t humble yourself! Don’t think so?  That one kid that was walking down the street and doesn’t know better or wasn’t taught better or has been placed into a group because no other group will accept them is walking down the street thinking “I want to die…” and here you are crossing the street or giving them a look that they have grown up seeing as you get closer may be that last push they need to do something wrong.  I was one of those kids…many times I placed my life at risk and as I would walk and someone would be approaching I would say to myself “if this person smiles I’ll be good today but if they don’t I may do something stupid” many times I got a dirty look and many times I’d go out of my way to test the waters of death.  I know some may think me stupid but it is a reality that youth go through just like when we “love” someone for the first time and we say to ourselves “if they smile at me I’ll write them a note…” we’ve all done something similar to that.

Our salvation is NOT within the hands of ONE person instead we have the power and strength to do it ourselves for ourselves as well as for others but MANY choose to let the other guy worry about it (Yes I mean Jesus when I say other guy) because after we are already “saved” so why go back and risk not being “saved?”  The way we can help others to be saved from a life of despair and violence is by NOT contributing to the causes of the despair and violence.  Simple example; “I believe in God but you’re Catholic and you worship idols so you’re going to hell” sounds stupid? Well it’s because it is stupid!

We cannot pray our way out of the violence in our society and we sure cannot vote our way out of it either, we have to have the WILL to change it and honestly YOU lack that will! 

Wait what?  YOU really think I’m not talking about YOU!?  Well if YOU think that then I am DEFINTALY talking about YOU!

I don’t need Jesus to save me from what I have helped create because that would insult His teachings because it was never about Him it was all about US doing what is needed and somehow someone screwed it all up and made many believe that Jesus is just sitting around waiting for US to give Him something to do since He is so bored where He’s at!

Don’t chant “Save our children” because you are the abuser…

Don’t chant “save our streets” because you are the offender…

Don’t chant “stop killing our children” because you are the murder…

Don’t chant “stop the guns” because you built those guns…

Don’t chant “stop the drugs” because you are the user…

Don’t chant anything…be silent then go do something positive without bias, condition, or judgment and you will have Peace…we will have Peace…we are Peace.

PEACE/AMOR

Gerardo

Looking for Peace.....on Palm Sunday.

On this Palm Sunday I think about my entrance back into street life 12 years ago and how I could have been crucified 3 years ago.  I don’t talk much about my reentry into this life but I’ll open that door just a bit today.

July 2001 was a hot summer with lots of opportunities on the rise I was hosting two people from the BBC here in Chicago for a documentary that the BBC wanted to do on street gangs in Chicago.  Brothers on top wanted something different they were tired of the age old gang fights.  My voice within the Nation was growing stronger and several of the real old timers were convinced that Peace was going to be headed by us, the Almighty Latin King Nation.

Early June the head of another gang was released on parole after doing over 15 years and the very day he is released he holds a meeting out in the open and announces that he declares war on the Latin Kings (LK.)  This information was passed on to our neighborhood because one of the older guys blood brother is a member of that rival gang, not uncommon.  So everyone was out on the strip kind of enjoying the heat but watching the street.  Two vehicles come up the strip and the first one a door opens and someone yells out that rivals street gangs slogan and everyone turns to look at that vehicle.  The second vehicle used the opportunity to open fire and in a split second someone emerged from that vehicle and let loose only one gun shot and that bullet found its way directly to the back of the head of one of our Brothers. Both vehicles sped off and we were left with a pool of blood.

Let me back track a bit…there was a young LK Brother that had become a client of mine and my partner (at the time I worked for a youth social service agency and hired one of the old Brothers) the young Brother was wild and would do anything that no one else wanted to do.  He was 16 dropped out of school his mother would cry everyday worried that something would happen to her son but he ran the streets running from his childhood pain.  It was tough to get him to settle down and for a time we felt as if we couldn’t do much for him because it seemed like he was determined to end his life on his terms.  As the weeks went by he would get arrested and beat up by the police, beat up by rivals, jailed a couple of times for disorderly conduct, and other things.  Then one day we couldn’t find him and we went to his house the mother was crying saying that she had not seen him in a few days and unfortunately in the hood that sometimes means you’ve been disposed of.  So we started looking around my partner had sit downs with some other Brothers to make sure they weren’t the ones that got rid of him and at the end of a couple of days we couldn’t find him.  Then the phone rings and it’s him he said that he got away for a bit and needed to think about things and had decided that he wanted to go back to school and wanted to step away from the street for a while so he could get his life back on track.  We were happy and my partner secured his safety from the Nation to step away and gave him the steps he had to take and one of them was to speak with one of the oldest Brothers around.  That was key in all of this because that Brother would guarantee that no one would touch this young Brother.  

Back to the story line…minutes before the rivals came up the street the young Brother was talking with his mother at home about how he was going to step away from the LK’s and go back to school and she was very happy.  He told her that he needed to go speak to someone about it and that he would be right back.  He walked out of his house and walked half a block to speak with this older Brother and as they were standing there the shot rang out and that young Brother was shot once in the back of the head by this rival gang.  The older Brother was standing face to face with this young Brother and saw life escape from those young eyes as they left us behind to deal with the rage that would follow.  The young Brothers mother heard the shot and immediately knew it was her son.  She began to cry hysterically and people in the house were asking her what was wrong and she kept saying that they killed her son and no one had come to the house to say anything so everyone was confused.  A minute later one of the Brothers was at the door step letting them know that the young Brother was just killed.

My partner and I were 20 minutes away when we heard the call over the police scanner and when we heard it was right in the middle of our hood we jumped on our Nextel phones and started to call the hood.  We quickly learned of what had happened and we drove quickly and silently into the hood.  Once there we take a quick look at what had happened and asked questions.  My partner asked me if I wanted to take a ride into the rival hood and see what’s going on over there.  I knew that he wanted to exact revenge and at that moment so did I so I said YES lets go!

We did not have a weapon on us other than our anger and pain which sometimes can be more damaging than a bullet.  I let him drive because he wanted to be the one caught if something went down.  As we approach the rival hood he tells me about how one of our own is blood brother to one of the main guys in the rival gang.  We start to zig zag in their hood and not a single person is out which was weird because it was 330pm on a hot summer day…as we turn a corner we see what we didn’t expect to see.  The brother that is blood brother to the rival is coming out of the house of the rival gang leader and as we pass our brother noticed us and you could see the worry in his face.  The rivals start to grab something and my partner drives off and says ‘we got this bastard now!’

Our brother was snatched off the street and questioned as to what he was doing over there so soon after the shooting and he claimed that he heard what happened and he was on their block so he figured he could resolve the issue.  I never found out anymore because I refused to accept that answer and viewed him as an enemy ever since. 

A few weeks later the older Brother that was talking to this young Brother was killed while trying to rob a house that was owned by a drug cartel all the while the FEDS were across the street watching it happened and NEVER called the police or ambulance for assistance…that’s a whole other story.

The older Brother had all of his family in NYC and was going to be buried there so several of us hopped in a car and drove all night to NYC to attend the wake the following night.  On this trip it was revealed that I was a lot more intimately involved in the day to day communications for the Nation.  Once in NYC I called the head of the city for the LK’s and quickly we were flooded with about 100 LK’/LQ’s from all over NY.  My relationship with NYC was like older Brother to younger Brother they loved me as much as I loved them making NYC my second home.  So what happens when a younger Brother loves his older Brother?  They show a lot of respect and when the Brothers from Chicago saw that they became very angry.  Why you ask?  Because they were not being shown the same overwhelming respect that was being given to me so they began to talk among themselves.  Once we got back to Chicago I was given a choice to make either turn around and never come back and stay out the way or come back into the fold out on the street.  I had already made up my mind way before they came to that point and I picked the street.  Why did I?  At the time all of the people that worked with me on the anti-violence stuff here in Chicago had left and I had no other resources other than my physical self.  I had made a promise to the LK’s that I would be there for them as long as they wanted to turn over a new leaf and at that time they did…I freely gave myself back to the streets after eight years of not being out on the streets I went back.

I was told by my sponsor, yes there is actually sponsors within gang life, that at the level I was coming in that there was no turning back and that this would be for life and I looked at him and said “I will change everything just give me time and support and I will end the shootings and put people in school and we will be the strongest Nation in the country we will bury our dead because of old age and nothing else!” 

He was excited and so was I…September 11^th 2001 two planes slam into the World Trade Center and a new world came upon us and yes it even affected the gangs.  Many street gangs thought that the FEDS would be too busy looking the other way that they wouldn’t notice them organizing a drug trade.  What they didn’t know was that 9/11 gave the FEDS more power to do what they do and an endless pit of money to throw at people to create events that normally wouldn’t happen. 

By 2009 my ability to control and influence positive behaviors had diminished regardless of all the evidence of indictments and snitches that I provided certain people were hell bent to keep going for the negative.  I’m not saying I hate the Nation nor am I saying that the Nation as a whole is involved in the drug trade what I am saying is that certain people with certain control within the Nation are involved in the drug trade and are being paid to make sure it keeps going that way.

How does this translate to Palm Sunday?  It is easy to come in victory but if the people are unwilling very few of us will sacrifice our lives for the change you refuse to have in your life. 

Will you sacrifice your own life for yourself?

Will you sacrifice your own life for others?

Who sacrificed their life for yours?

These are questions that require answers.

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo  

Looking for Peace.....with Dennis Rodman

Who would you pick as a Peace maker?  Dennis Rodman is NOT the first person you would think of but he happens to be a good choice.

Rodman recently went to The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK-North Korea) for a basketball showcase alongside the Harlem Globetrotters. What’s interesting is that this is not the first time that the Globetrotters go to a perceived enemy’s country.  In 1959 the Harlem Globetrotters went to the Soviet Union to play several games as well.  Rodman, as we all know, has had a complicated past but nonetheless he is human and he showed his level of humanity in an interview with George Stephanopoulos:

”Rodman originally drew criticism from Stephanopoulos when he said that North Korea’s dictator was a good guy, despite the human rights violations.

“I don’t condone that. I hate the fact that he’s doing that. I didn’t talk about that. I saw people respected him, his family. He’s only 28. He’s not his dad. He’s not his grandpa. He is 28 years old. He’s very humble. He’s a very humble man. He don’t want war, that’s one thing he don’t want. He loves power. He loves control, because of his father, you know, stuff like that. But he’s just…he’s a great guy. He’s just a great guy. You sit down and talk to him,” said Rodman.

Stephanopoulos then challenged Rodman, saying he was making excuses for North Korea’s human rights abuses.

“No, I’m not apologizing for him. He was a great guy to me. He was my friend. I don’t condone what he does. But as a person to person, he’s my friend. What I did was history. He’s a friend to me. That’s about it,” said Rodman.”

If we look at this carefully we see that Rodman has more sense than George because he is making a clear statement that the leader of DPRK, Kim Jong Un, is young and is most likely reacting to history rather than what might be really going on.  

Here this is what I mean, all these years Christians were told that Dec. 25^th is the birth of Christ and as the world grew smaller and information and research became more attainable to the masses people soon realized that no, that is not right!  Some of us accepted it and MANY MORE hold on to the lie because that is what they have known their whole lives.  

Kim Jong Un has been surrounded all his life, most likely, with information that may not be completely true and I think YOU can relate to that, how you ask?  Was there ever any Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq?  No there sure wasn’t but we believed it and I use we loosely.  So what did Rodman see while he was in DPRK?  He most likely saw a young head of state that has a lot of expectations to live up to and is being handled in a way that forces him to have to react in ways that are not helpful.  Wouldn’t it be great if this young man just ended it all and said ‘screw this lets unite the Korean people and get past this!’ It would be great but you know what else would be great?  If the US would say ‘hey how about we get the hell out of the world’s way and stop butting into everyone else’s problems and go back home and build up our own country!’   Now THAT would be a statement to make…the problem with US policy is that it is very forceful in that it doesn’t allow other countries to have an opinion.  

Are there horrible acts occurring in the DPRK?  Yes I am sure but doesn’t the US have the largest prison population in the world? Oh and don’t ask about it because people in the US will start to justify why there is one…doesn’t that sound familiar?  It sure does because the US criticizes other countries when they start to justify their actions in their own countries when confronted by the US and the US calls BS on them.

How does all of this make sense?  It really doesn’t but Rodman hit it on the nose with this statement 

“He loves power. He loves control, because of his father, you know, stuff like that.”

How many politicians can we name that fit that profile?! We can probably throw a stone in the direction of any public office and hit the right person!

So where does this leave us?  Right back to the example that, Yes, Dennis Rodman has given us, be humble and show some humanity when living life, is this so hard?

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo

Looking for peace.....on a Saturday night

Most Saturday nights couples are out having dinner at a nice restaurant or out at the movies but this past Saturday night we thought it would be fun to pay a quick visit to a friend that works at a local hotel and it became an event.

We usually hear from her about how boring the job is and how it at least allows her to get some homework done and that night was no different.  We arrive with coffee for her and we begin to make her laugh and catch up.  After some time had gone by the front desk phone rings and it is a complaint from one guest about another guest on the floor below them.  Our friend goes up to check it out and realizes that it’s a room full of young people having a “good time” as a cloud of smoke leaves the room she realizes that this is going to be a challenge.  She does her job to notify them of the rules and that people are going to have to leave and they had 10mins to do so.  She comes back down and tells us the story.  We continue talking and I start to water the plants (small odd things I do when I visit people) then out the corner of my eye I notice a police car (actually it was my constant paranoia of the police that alerted me) and I ask my friend if she called the police and she said no.  As we stood there and watched another squad car roll up she says that maybe another guest called the police but then I see the officer place his AR-15 rifle on the hood of his car and I turn and say to her “oh man this guy is taking it too seriously!”

I suddenly feel comfortable in this situation police, guns, confusion, more police, and I start to wonder how I will react to their poor reactions to whatever it is that is going to happen.  The officers come into the lobby of the hotel and state their purpose and it was to enter a room of a guest in the hotel that had nothing to do with the young people having a “smoking” party on the same floor as these officers were looking to go.  So once the officers were ready to go up, a total of five, they had shields, one AR-15 with a double clip locked and ready, and Tasers in hand with the warning of not letting anyone use the elevators.

As people were asked to evacuate the floor where the police were at people began to gather in the lobby wondering what is going on.  Some looked very scared others were talking about going to the exercise room to be as far away as possible from whatever will happen.  I was impatient because two people that I care about are there and I would want anything to happen to them so like a paced back and forth to keep an eye on what was going on.  I’ve seen these types of things go wrong quickly and sometimes these cops are like a light switch, once they’re on you gotta make sure someone hits the off switch quickly.

So in the end the cops come down with a guy that seems to have made a call about killing himself and the police felt the need to react the way they did but the adventure doesn’t stop there!

Back to the room filled with young people smoking…after some of these young folk saw the police some left the hotel and others just hung around.  Four youth walk into the lobby and one asks to have a room opened so that he can get his hat and once my friend saw that his name was not on the room she told him that she couldn’t do that.  He got upset and sat down to charge up his phone.  He was with three young women and one of them was obviously drunk and not realizing what was going on other than wanting to go home.  They started to be loud as they found out that their ride had left without them and had no plans on coming back for them my friend has a job to do and cannot risk having this sort of thing play out in the lobby.  My friend starts by asking them if they are waiting something and they said they were waiting for a ride but since they were only a few feet away it was clear that no one was coming for them.  I started to let them know that they couldn’t hang out and be cussing and being loud in the lobby and that they could keep trying to find a ride but they had to act right.  They did for about three seconds then one young woman started to yell because the guy that was there with them said ‘naw they ain’t coming back’ so she was upset.  I got close to them and said “hey keep it down, do you guys need a number to a cab company or is there anyone else you can call?”  The young brother says to me “hey call me a cab!”  I made sure he understood that he needed to be responsible for that and gave him the number to a cab company I stood back and watched. 

A few minutes went by and they started to argue and cuss and getting loud and my friend had enough and told them that they now needed to leave.  I saw how upset she was and jumped in and approached these youth.  I told them that I had already asked them to please keep it down and now they had worn out their welcome with the hotel and that they would need to leave.  The young woman that was drunk starts to sit up and says to me “I don’t give a fuck who you are and what you saying you gonna have to call the police to get me outta here!!”  I usually don’t like to change my tone with someone in these cases but this was one of those times I had to do so and I looked at all of them and said “hey listen just because we out here in the burbs don’t mean shit to me I’m from the fucking West Side and I don’t put with this bullshit!”  Once they heard that one of the young women stopped her friends from talking and said she wanted to hear what I had to say.  I told them that my friend had a job to do and in no way was going to risk it because they decided to get drunk and high at a hotel and can’t find a way home.  I told them that my friend was accommodating to them but that they had the responsibility to act right and they didn’t so these were their consequences and being mad at us was not going to help them out.

I looked at this young woman’s eyes and I could see her desire to not be who she was at that moment but I could also see the lack of hope in her eyes.  I told her “listen if you don’t like being in this situation then make sure not to find yourself in this same spot ever again.  It’s really simple all you got to do is NOT hang out with the same people that abandoned you here change your friends don’t do this stuff”  she looked like she wanted to hear more and her friends kept cussing.  The young woman then says “hey y’all I got papers on me and don’t want to get caught up!”  So I told her that the best thing for them to do is leave before the police come and once outside if you see them just let them know you leaving and they will leave you alone but if you here when they get here you burnt up!”  She understood that and got up and started to leave and I made one more pitch to her and said “all you gotta do is change who you hanging with.”  She turned back to look at me and kept walking and once out the door it took about 30 seconds before the police rolled up.

That evening could have been a lot worse for those youth (as I hope that they all made it home safely that night) as well as for my friend if these youth had already sold themselves the idea of “who gives a shit” point of view. 

My heart goes out to these youth and in particular that young woman that decided to hear what it was I had to say to her and her friends.  It is a shame that I had act like a Brother from the hood and cuss for them to hear me but there are times you have to speak to where people are at in their lives. Sometimes I have to cuss, at least for those I come across, and sometimes it’s making a harsh statement to shake people into listening when they are doing things or saying things that are not helpful.  What does that say about the people that have to have that happen to them to create a reaction?  It could mean a lot of things but one thing that stands out for me is that means the person that has to be shaken into a reaction is someone that is struggling to the point of losing the ability to communicate effectively.  When I come across someone like that I have to quickly think about what is the context of the situation to respond effectively and in this case I had to make sure they understood I was from the ‘hood’ and I was in control not them and they responded in their own ways but it was a response.

Take some time to sit back and think about what it is that has to be said to you for you to be shaken up to the point of reaction and you tell me if that is an effective way to live.

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo