Looking for Peace.....during Christmas.

Recently I thought about the need for a gun while I was putting up decorations in the hall that would be for my own wedding.  I was there alone at night and around 130am someone starts banging on the door, the street was quiet and it was me and someone else on the other side of that door.  Who was it?  Why did they think it was OK to knock on someone’s door at 130am?  The thought of a gun came to mind, what would I do if I hand a gun with me?  Do I charge the door with gun in hand? Do I answer the door and hide the gun? Do I yell and warn the person on the other side that I am armed?  What is that person was armed too?  What if it was just someone that needed help?  All of these questions raced through my mind and I just stood there wondering, why am I thinking about a gun?

Our society strongly believes in having its citizens bear arms, as it is in the Constitution, but it also depends on what type of citizen we are talking about.  If we go deep into Klan country it’ll be obvious that they don’t think people of color should have the right to arm themselves.   We go to the urban cities and wealthy people might not care because after all it’s all the “poor” people killing each other anyway so it doesn’t affect them.  Then there are the religious people that “believe” God will save them but will have a shotgun sitting under their couch ready and armed just in case God is looking the other way when they are attacked.  

So how do we have a gun law that will be “fair” for everyone?  Right, we can’t because it truly is impossible.

So as I waited to see what next step the person on the other side of the door was going to do I gathered my stuff.  I had to go through that door because my car was parked on the other side of that door as well.  After about ten minutes I walk out that door and look around and there’s no one there I lock the door and hop in the car and sat there for a couple of minutes.  I thought to myself, if I had a gun this could have been very different I could have killed someone that was just looking for a warm place to sleep.  Or they could have shot me and I wouldn’t have had a wedding instead a funeral in my name.

Our society needs to wake up and realize that violence is the WAR at home that is taking place EVERY SINGLE DAY without fail and it’s not just gun violence, which by the way is a stupid term considering that you need a human to pull the trigger would we rather have knife violence, it’s all violence that we see and hear in our “free” society.  Hollywood people got together to do a video to advocate for gun laws and mental health and it reignited my furry about how ignorant people really are.  One single white kid kills 28 people and it’s a mental health issue but one Black or Latino kid shoots one person and we need tougher prisons, stricter sentencing, less opportunities for them to parole out, etc… It is obvious that hate is the only thing left in this country that is American made.

Two days ago a Brother of mine shot himself to death…

I don’t need a gun

You don’t need a gun

We don’t need a gun

What we need is to heal ourselves from all of this hate because it breeds sorrow, low self-esteem, sadness, depression, and many more things that we all can do without.  It would be great if Hollywood stars would learn how to connect with the real issue first rather than schedule in a video shoot where a hair and makeup artist had to be employed to make sure they look good for a PSA and try to look sad and concerned.  Not to say they are not but our society has learned how to only be sad and concerned when it is only broadcasted in National news and if there’s enough people around it otherwise we seem to accept that everyday a poor child in a poor neighborhood will get shot to death or beaten to death because people are trying to survive.  We really don’t have to go overseas to see devastation it’s usually only a few miles away from the direction you never drive to.

Can’t pretend to have a Merry Christmas if others are suffering…

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo

Looking for peace.....in what you haven't done

What haven’t you done?  Yes I’m starting with this question and I’ll ask again, what haven’t you done?!

The violence in Chicago has not slowed down young Black/Brown children are dying and all we can do is wonder who the fuck is going to take over JJ Jrs. Seat in Congress, is that really a priority?  There was a funeral the other day and after the service someone that was in the church followed some people out and started shooting as soon as the shooter crossed the threshold of the front door of the church killing one and injuring another.  So what haven’t you done?

Is it really your responsibility? Yes it is if you call yourself a person of Faith even if you call yourself Human it is your responsibility.  Some of you will ask, why should it? If you really have to ask that then you are not only disconnected from reality but an indirect accomplice to the violence.  Summer of 2012 downtown Chicago got to see some of the violence that is common in some parts of the city, people were being mugged and some even got shot.  Quickly the police flooded Michigan Ave and police were even on horseback trying to be discreet to catch the “roving group of youth” in downtown.  A young beautiful Black teenager is gunned down and the family and community activist were going to march but then decided at the last minute that it was too dangerous to do so and just stayed on their block.  Where was the outcry for this youth murder?  The pastor from the funeral interviewed for the local news about the shooting at the funeral and seemed calm talking about it but was able to say on Twitter that it was “crazy!!” Ah did I forget to mention that this pastor is thinking about running for JJ Jrs. Seat as well??  So was the interview about how crazy it is or just more exposure for him?  He's praying with his team to see if the Almighty Himself will give him the green light to run for office because obviously god also believes that only in political office can one really make an impact!

I’m kind of all over the place here but that’s how it feels to me, all messed up in 30 different ways…

So what is it that you haven’t done?  NO I don’t want to receive private emails saying “well I guess we all do our part whichever way we can…” that’s just stupid because it’s easy to say “oh well I gave to the Boys and Girls club what else can I do” or my favorite “ I work in social services and I’m doing the best I can.”  I’m sorry but NO you’re not and not because you wanted it that way but simply because the job has you so tied up in bullshit paperwork and mandatory basketball nights type of events that you hardly ever get the chance to REALLY impact someone for life.  I’ve seen many people social workers, clergy, teachers, police, parents, and community organizers just shrug their shoulders and say “well we tried.”  Is that what we should tell the parents and family of this youth that was murdered last night? Think about that and think about losing someone you love dearly in an avoidable situation and think about how it would feel if someone just shrugged their shoulders and said ‘hey what did you want I tried’ as if that person was trying to give your car a jump for it to start.

So what haven’t you done?

I can say for myself that I have not done ENOUGH and I am ashamed for it and grieve the loss of every life…

Will you do enough to get by or into “heaven” or will you do what needs to be done?

ALWAYS with AMOR!

Gerardo

Looking for Peace.....but not on a basket ball court.

I’m starting to think that pastors are starting to believe what many others believe, there is no hope in “church” or in God.  I say this because I continuously see pastors reaching outside of their teachings to find a solution to a problem.  I’ve looked over the Bible to see if Jesus ever used a sport to get the basic message of Love across maybe He started a tennis club or a cricket club maybe even chess to get the Romans to stop beating the hell out of everyone… Instead I find Him teaching and leading by example.

Why would a pastor think that he can only reach out to “troubled youth” via a basketball tournament? Where has God failed him so much that the pastor seems to think that the message of God is not stronger than a basketball? Is it that the pastor thinks these Brothers do not have the intelligence to understand a basic message of Love and understanding? So is he throwing a ball at them in hopes that it might entertain them long enough to forget to shoot someone? Is that what this pastor is thinking?

I’m a strong believer in trying different things to get things done but the problem isn’t that these Brothers don’t have a vested interest in the community the problem is that someone has given them the wrong idea of what that community should be like.  Not only have they been given the wrong idea but they have also been supplied with the means to not have any expectations what so ever.  We can NOT depend on sport activities to solve anything because it sends the wrong message!!!  This pastor might see that Black youth like to play BBall but the youth see these NBA players go from nothing to “everything” in terms of money.  So while the pastor is trying to send a message of community it’s possible that these young impoverished Brothers are only seeing the possibility of making money by playing BBall.  Of course the corner stone of success in our society is based on how much money you have RIGHT now so, when these Brothers don’t make it as a Pro BBall player then they kick it down a notch to see who else is making that money and the answer is right in front of them on a 24/7 basis in some hoods, the drug dealer.  Why hasn’t the pastor gone after the city for the lack of supplies in the local schools?  Why not attack the city for not providing a proper economic foundation in the community?  Why not challenge local businesses to create something other than the 10000^th Food & Liquor store?  Does this pastor really think that the Faith in Our Almighty is not enough?

I do not understand the need to attack the consequences of a problem why wouldn’t you attack the ROOT of the problem? I think that this pastor really thinks that IF drugs and gangs no longer were around that everything would be great.  

Maybe without drugs and gangs the police will stop calling Black people niggers and Latinos wet backs.  

Maybe without drugs and gangs banks will open its door to fair practices in lending.

Maybe without drugs and gangs there will be less liquor stores.  

Maybe without drugs and gangs the US government will stop flooding our streets with guns!  

Maybe without drugs and gangs women will no longer be viewed as a second class citizen.  

Maybe without drugs and gangs little kids will not be sexually abused any more. 

Maybe without drugs and gangs there will be no more homelessness.

Maybe if we build a bunch of $15million buildings drugs and gangs will magically go away! 

Does any of that sound right?  No of course it doesn’t but since everyone is focused on the consequences of the bigger problem it draws the question, why are they not attacking the ROOT cause of all of this?  Is it possible that the government, social services, church, pastors, businesses, corporations, etc... depend on drugs and gangs to remain alive?  Since I have focused on pastors, is it possible that a pastor is dependent on people to keep shooting each other?  What would this pastor be if he didn’t have the spotlight on him?  People have fought to keep him in the same church (Catholic) for many years because without him they apparently can’t do anything, is that what he wants the congregation to believe?  It must be because I have yet to hear compassion come out of his mouth for drug dealers or gang members he rather see them in prison…makes me think about the Rabbis that wanted Jesus dead. 

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo

Looking for Peace.....but not in a petition.

I don’t read the Bible every day and I can’t quote small sections from it either but what I can say is that I know the essence that the Word of God emits when it is read and spoken.

It becomes hard to deal with people that have a certain narcissistic belief that when they learned something new no one else around them must be aware of it since it is new to them and I am referring to religion. 

I appreciate the newness of it all but what creates a rift is when that someone then thinks they can tell you about it as if they were “helping you” become better in some way via their “discovery.”  Back when I decided to focus more on my belief in God I took the daily examples of His presence in my life.  All these years that my Mother held me when I was sad or corrected me when I was wrong started to make sense as I laid on a park bench trying to get some sleep thinking about why I was alive.  I was homeless for roughly a year in total as a teenager and none of my HS friends at the time or maybe even now ever knew that.  I either couch surfed or stayed awake all night until I could find somewhere to lay my head down during the day.  Eventually I was able to find a steady place but it didn’t last too long and there was nothing more certain than a park bench in Riis Park. 

So during these times I would question God as often as I could and would dare to hear or see an answer. Often I would be reminded about how I was taken care of by my parents or how a squirrel would make a noise to alert me that someone was coming down the path that my park bench was on.  As time went on I began to see God in everything and everyone and even as poor and homeless as I was people would help me or even smile at me almost as if they knew I was searching for that example of love.  Some people that are newly Christians are always on a “Jesus Loves” you high and just keep repeating that Jesus or God Loves you to everyone they speak with.  It is a turn off for many people and I don’t think it’s always because people think it’s cheesy but I think it’s in part because people are aware that those people may not be able to explain that LOVE in depth.  I’ve had people tell me “what is there to explain!?” with anger or confusion in their eyes “why can’t you just accept it?!”  I then sometimes ask them “if someone was sexually abused as a child and were told each time by the abuser that it was done out of love or lived through a domestic violent relationship and told the same thing about love do you think they would be willing to accept that word love from you?”  I always get a look of ‘oh umm…’ and there’s the obstacle that comes with not being able to explain the feeling you have of God’s unconditional love.  Now, some of these Christian people say that they use the crucifixion of Jesus as the basis of God’s love but then I ask how they relate it in the case I stated above and all I get is the stuck record syndrome from them “but he died for our sins…but he died for our sins…but he died for our sins…”

I simply do not believe most of these churches that go out on the street and “preach” what they believe to be the “right” interpretation of God’s Word and I say it like that because they take it in its literal form and justify their opinions around that.  I’ll use this as an example; last week I participated in the Caravan for Peace and an Anglican Priest said that the clergy coalition, that he is a part of, was aware of the caravan and a march we would be doing.  Out of the 130 clergy I think about 7 might have shown up and to add insult to injury the church we ended up at, that is part of that coalition, their congregation was nowhere to be found.  The caravan is addressing the issue of the drug war policies that both the US and Mexican governments have imposed on its citizens and have failed.  In that the obvious issue of street gangs comes up among other things like poverty, the legalization of drugs, etc…  The one man that showed up and is not in that clergy coalition was Min. Ishmael Muhammad from the Nation of Islam.  He gave a great speech and had everyone’s ear and if there was any understanding of God’s universal love it was coming out of this Brother that night.

This clergy coalition did not show up to the caravan march or events held earlier that day but they did make sure that there were plenty of petitions circulating the church that night to get our names on a petition that addresses the gun laws in IL.  I did not sign it and never will but not because of them but because I believe that if you address the Spiritual void in our society then everything else will fall in place…I said that if WE address that void EVERYTHING else will fall in place!   How is it that 130 pastors feel as if they are lacking power and influence to affect their communities around the issue of violence?  130 pastors passing around a petition in their churches to change a law are 130 pastors that DO NOT believe in the Power of the Almighty Creator God!

Do I need to say it again?  

Did you feel what it is that is being said here?

If I believed that violence was a product that came in a box and once I open that box violence comes out of it and makes me to do violent things then I’d sign a petition.  What we are talking about is a lack of Faith in our Creator.  A lack of depth in people’s Spiritual lives, a lack of truth in people’s lives, a lack of willingness to understand that Our God Creator does not have a signature to add on a petition and since He doesn’t then neither do I.

People can go to all the Christian conferences, concerts, gatherings, revival’s, etc… but if they are NOT where the People are at then they have missed it ALL.  I do understand the need for some of those things for some people but when you are amazed at what someone is doing in some other part of the world then you are denying the act of God’s love when you see a homeless person smiling.

I know some will say ‘but I go out on the street and Evangelize’ and the issue with that is it is being done with the intention of “saving” someone rather than just letting people know that you love and care for them simply because they are alive, how wonderful would that be to just express your love and appreciation to people simply because they woke up that morning.  If people then ask why then I would share my experience with them but not to “convert” them but simply to share my thoughts on what has worked for me. 

I had a Priest ask me where was I going to seminary and I told him that I wanted to go to a certain one and he said quickly that the seminary I mentioned was not a Christ centered place and I told him it was OK because I was looking for a place that accepted ALL as the creation of God…he couldn’t argue with that so he walked away.

I love you because I can

I love you because I want to

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo

Looking for Peace.....yesterday with strangers

Compassion seems to have taken a back-seat in the souls of our society; people are unwilling to care about how things may affect others and are more worried about how it only affects them.  Is your car really more important than a relationship with a family member? Is your “right way” of doing things really the “right way?” Do you really think that speaking down to someone to get your point across is the best way to communicate with someone else?

This past Labor day I worked hard not to break down in front of people that needed to see someone be strong for them but also express compassion and love to them for where they are at.  The Caravan for Peace headed by Mexican Poet Javier Sicilia came into Chicago.  We were given the opportunity (Ramiro, Alma, Chris, and Guillermo) to do Peace circles and facilitate conversations with people that have lost loved ones in the drug war in Mexico.  One by one the beads that served as the sacred symbol were passed along, many fumbled with it in their hands and others squeezed them tightly with both hands.  The beads are a Rosary that was given to me and brought from the Philippines hand made out of wood.  As each person spoke I had to do some translating because others did not understand Spanish so as I did I had to repeat their words of pain and suffering.  I had to speak words that I never thought would come out of my mouth on how their loved ones were decapitated, shot, and set a blaze and many other horrible actions.  The beads came around to the last person in the circle that hadn’t spoken yet and as it got closer I could see her nervousness once the beads were in her hand she began to cry.  She said, “my mother has been missing for 8 months and we don’t know where she is…I’m an only child and all I have left is my father…” I had to translate what she had just finished saying and it torn into my heart.  Even with that story and coming into the US to go cross country in a charter bus she still seemed to remain strong.

On any given day we complain about how slow the internet is, the wait time for the bus, the copier at work not working, the coffee not being fresh enough, and once our day is done and we click on the news we get annoyed very easily.  We see that several people were shot between the time we got off of work went to the store and got home and our first reaction is annoyance.  What’s interesting is that if the first thing on the news was celebrity gossip about who is screwing who behind someone’s back we raise the volume and pay close attention.  Where is our compassion for the things that matter?

Do you not feel that you should have compassion for others?  Why not? And if you do think you have compassion then I dare to ask then why don’t you have enough of it?  I do apologize for the way that may sound but I do spend a lot of time observing people and I sincerely do not see the amount of compassion that should exist in our society.  There’s a young social worker out there that believes they are saving the world simply because they have their Masters in Social work with a license to recommend drug therapy.  They live in a bubble and seem to always be happy but deep down inside they are not happy at all.  That social worker may very well have some deep issues that they have not dealt with because it’s too painful and it is possible that others may have not shown them compassion but instead complacency for their willingness to NOT deal with the issue. 

Not to say that social workers should be free of problems but at the VERY and I do mean VERY least they should have the ability to confront their issues head on.  I don’t think it is a lot to ask for considering that the issues that social workers have always dealt with have been some of the hardest.  Clergy are also that other group that has to be prepared to deal with issues and not only theirs but of many others and usually these clergy people can’t walk down to an office and have a quick supervision with a supervisor to see if they did OK.  Clergy find a spot and kneel down and go into a deep prayer, some take up drinking, others may smoke, and many more do both.  There was a Catholic Priest that I worked with a long time ago and he was a heavy drinker and loved it too and I asked him why he drank so much and his eyes filled up with tears and said “sometimes it just too much..” then he raised his glass and asked for another drink.

Compassion is lacking in our society because we place ALL of the burden on the very few and as those very few carry that there are others kicking at their knees trying to make them buckle.  There are people that say they love everyone because God commands them to do so but is that really love?  Can we continue to lie to ourselves like this?  Would it be easier to have people just proclaim that they really don’t give a shit about certain people and could some of us be prepared to accept that from others?

I’d like to believe that there is compassion for everyone from everyone but these days that light seems to become dimmer…sometimes it feels like a Sci-Fi movie where there’s two powerful characters entangled fighting each other as they both plummet to the ground in an epic end all.  I’m not trying to sound apocalyptic it is merely where we stand right now and it can actually get worse really soon, will you then have compassion?

Peace/AMOR

Gerardo